Exercise: The Best Buzz Ever

“When the jungle was open I rolled in with the riders/Stole food from the bears and bought it back to the lions/Quote unquote with the eighth I’m a gorilla but lighter/With the eye of a tiger the heart of a fighter yeah.”

Overlooking the fact that bears don’t live in the jungle, “Tha Mobb” by Lil Wayne is one of those songs that can make you feel utterly unstoppable. At least that is what I need to believe as my headphones blast Weezy during my eight-lap run through my apartment complex’s six floor garage. The physical impact that my body feels during each run session is typically the same every time. My mouth begins to dry out, while what feels like a torrential downpour of sweat starts to blind my pupils. The muscle cramp that attempts to debilitate the left side of my abs decides that it needs a change of scenery, and moves to the right side of my body.  Soon, I start to repeat my self loathing “F my life” chant, which I have quickly memorized. Before I know it, I start to reminisce to the hour prior to my workout, where brushing my teeth and paying bills seem to be a more enjoyable activity than running up and down a concrete “jungle.”

But then I finish, and I feel AMAZING.

Alcohol tends to make me believe that people I don’t like have suddenly become my friends. From what I hear, marijuana makes you lazy (lol). And don’t get me started on how I feel about caffeine. I still remember the time I attended the weekly team meeting during a previous externship with a mid-size law firm in D.C., after drinking a coffee with a quadruple shot from Starbucks. To this day, I am convinced that some of the associates there think I sniffed cocaine because one of the associates known for using cocaine wanted to hang out with me afterwards. Fortunately, working out is is an activity that one can get addicted to for all the right reasons. You start to feel better, look better, and even live better. Your outfits start to look cooler than they did before because they are now fitting you in a different way prior to being a couch potato. Plus, hitting the gym is a great activity to do with friends. Fck bath salts, I want endorphins!

Now if only I can find a protein shake that I actually enjoy drinking.

Follow me on Snapchat @easonbeencool

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