Trust Issues: The Quarter Life Crisis

“Mufasa, perhaps you shouldn’t turn your back on me.”—Scar

As a child, The Lion King was—and still is—one of my favorite movies. Outside of “Hakuna Matata,” many of the life lessons shared in that movie sat dormant in my memory bank until I was of age to really appreciate their philosophical meanings. Initially, when Scar allowed Mufasa to fall to his death during the Wildebeest stampede, I looked at Scar as the ultimate villain. Now, all I see is a punk ass cat, one that fits the description of the opps that Drake raps about throughout Views.

I don’t think my emotions work like they used to.

At the age of 27, I can’t go a day without wondering about my future. As a recent law school graduate, I tend to think about where I will live, work, and play, for the next 5, 10, 15, 20, 100 years. Unfortunately, I can’t say with absolute certainty who I will have around me to share those experiences with because as I change, my friends and family will change as well. I don’t expect anyone to adapt to my lifestyle or understand my mind state when it comes to life, so when I drift away from individuals, I consider it a natural progression. A progression that is necessary but at the same time, can totally suck.

//giphy.com/embed/dC9dujPVeAfIY

Oh well. Image via Giphy.

One thing that I value more than money and all the superficial things that life has to offer is trust. With trust comes peace of mind, because I never have to wonder about the intentions of those around me. If you are broke, I know I can leave you in my house without worrying about you pawning my Ray Bans collection. I know slander about me will never leave your mouth and enter the ears of outsiders. I know that I can believe everything that you say. But once I lose trust in someone, I become confused. To continue to treat that person the same would be insane. To adapt to the person that they become would be ludicrous. As Drake once said “I have a pure soul, I don’t do the hate,” but at the same time, I also don’t do well with bullshit. Unfortunately, being twenty-something around other twenty-somethings is like surrounding yourself amongst power-hungry politicians. Expect to be exposed to lies, cheating, and deceit, without the perks of being invited to the White House Correspondence Dinner.

My mother was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2011. She didn’t share this news with me until December 2015, while we were on a ten-day cruise to bring in the new year. Her reason for waiting so long to tell me her diagnosis was because she did not want me to stress over her health as I pursued my undergraduate and law degree. She knew how powerful stress can be on the mind, body, and soul, and she wanted to protect me from experiencing such grief (FYI women are so strong. I don’t know how they deal with life with such adversity). Today, I am happy to say that my mom is cancer free and healthy. I am also happy that I was able to learn such a valuable lesson from her, which is to do my best to avoid stressors. Being around people I can’t trust is stressful as hell, and I would be doing my mother a disservice by not engaging in healthy relationships. Plus, stress takes a toll on your appearance. I like the fact that I still get carded when I buy alcohol and can still get away with eyeing down women on the train. I can’t stare down these chicks the way that I do with skin that lacks elasticity.

My best friend Lito told me that I will experience a happier life once I no longer worry about the actions of others. By writing this article, I feel like I am following his advice. As I type, my mind becomes less cluttered with the negative thoughts that spawned this piece, and will hopefully come back only when I re-read this dope ass article. Peace.

Follow me on Twitter @stilyagicharles

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