One of my favorite scenes of HBO’s Ballers is when Miami Dolphins receiver Ricky Jarrett—played by John David Washington—calls his ex-girlfriend in an attempt to woo her back into his life. Ricky’s call immediately goes to voicemail and while being directed to leave a message, Ricky continuously repeats to himself, “Be nice.” Unfortunately, once it is time for Ricky to actually leave the voicemail, he was far from pleasant:
“ YOU MUST BE CRAZY LEAVING ME. WORD? YOU GON’ LEAVE RICKY JARRETT? YOU MUST BE FUCKING INSANE! FUCKING INSANE!”
Once Ricky hung up the phone, he then asked himself, “Why did I do that?”
We have all been there before. Our emotions motivate us to say things that we want to say, without any consideration of the consequences of our actions. Many times, we immediately regret what we just said, knowing that if we would have waited another hour or day to share our thoughts, our message would be much clearer, more understood, and less harsh. I experienced a situation like this earlier this week. I gave a woman I know $5 and when she didn’t say thank you and proceeded to keep my money, I told her to give me my $5 back and called her “entitled.” Was I petty? Yes. Do I believe she was in the wrong? Yes. Could I have handled the situation differently? Yes. But, at the time, I felt disrespected, and in moments like those, foresight goes right out the window.
Which brings us to today, when The ‘#1 Stunna’ Birdman made an appearance this morning on Power 105.1’s The Breakfast Club. From the moment Birdman entered the studio with his entourage, tensions were high. Birdman expressed that he has not appreciated the way DJ Envy, Angela Yee, and Charlamagne Tha God have mentioned his name on their broadcast, and demanded “respect,”telling Charlamagne that he could have met him in the streets but chose to clear the air on radio instead.
Ultimately, I understand where Birdman is coming from. He felt disrespected by The Breakfast Club and decided to let them know —although he never provided any examples. Ironically, what I don’t “respect” was Birdman’s approach. Birdman voluntarily went on The Breakfast Club for an interview—a show where they make fun of celebrities five days a week— and attempted to intimidate them as if that was going to change their routine. You don’t go into someone else’s space and start demanding change as if you have some type of influence in their environment. If someone started to tell me what to do in my workplace or home in a disrespectful manner, they wont be there long. Once Birdman realized that his tactics were flawed and that change was not happening, he and his entourage left the show and continued their travels throughout New York City.
Had Birdman entered the scene in a calming, less aggressive manner, the interview could have taken a more positive route, and Birdman would have had the opportunity to share his frustrations much better. Unfortunately, he got angry, and is now a meme template.
Learn from Birdman, Ricky Jarrett, and myself. When angry, just take a deep breath. If not, do you and learn to live with regrets.
#NP Jay Z “Regrets”
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